This week is National Infertility Awareness Week, and it's only Thursday, which means I've actually managed to catch it (sort of) on time this year.
There are many hard things about dealing with infertility. The heartache of seeing something you want so badly easily come to others, the prick of the needles, the evasiveness and pain of the procedures, and the hormones that may make you sleepy, or moody, or bloated, or a fun mix of all of the above.
All that (and more) is really a bitch, but the hardest part for me was the day after we learned of our loss. That day, my alarm went off at 7am like it always does. That day, I woke up, I got dressed, I did my hair. I had a quick breakfast, I got in my car, and I drove to my client's office. I sat in meetings. I took phone calls. I started on a report that was due that week (I really must learn not to procrastinate). I made small talk in the hallways. I fielded text messages from family members asking if I could come over that weekend for pizza.
It was a perfectly normal day. And that is precisely what was wrong with it.
No one could have known that in between the meetings, I was struggling to form thoughts. No one could see that on every phone call, I was on a website talking to other women going through infertility and loss themselves. No one would know I would cry the whole 60 minute drive home.
And that's the point - just because you don't see infertility, it doesn't mean it's not impacting someone you love, someone you work with, or someone you just asked on Facebook if they were pregnant (which yes, also happened on that very not normal, normal day).
So listen up, as Resolve states, "Infertility impacts millions of Americans and does not discriminate based on race, religion, socioeconomic status or sexuality." And just because you personally did not struggle, that doesn't mean you shouldn't care and support those who do. Support by listening to those who want to share, support by not assuming the couple without kids doesn't want them or isn't trying desperately to have them, and support by using your voice and your voting rights for causes that impact the infertility community.