Of course I missed the call because I'm completely unreliable when answering my phone, so when I listened to the voicemail, I thought it must be some kind of joke. But I listened two more times, and then I read the email that was also sent, and sure enough - my simple little blog has been nominated for the 2015 Hope Award for Best Blog.
I keep asking my husband what it's like to be married to an award nominated blog writer. He's starting to look more annoyed than impressed.
In all seriousness, I can't put into words how honored I feel.
Of course I am proud from a very selfish standpoint (don't we all still have the 6 year old in us that wants the gold star?), but my view of this is a bit broader.
Let's face it - there's nothing fancy about my blog. No frills, no bells. I don't have thousands of followers, or even hundreds. Quite frankly, I'm lucky if I get more than a dozen readers of any given post, and about 11 of those readers are my closest friends. I have spent exactly $0 on this blog, and I honestly really have no idea what I am doing (please don't tell RESOLVE that).
But what I do know (all too well) is the heartache of infertility and loss. And what I've invested here is every bit of myself - my sadness, my frustration, and if you look closely enough, my hope and my strength.
I started this blog during a particularly dark time, and by getting my thoughts out of my head and into cyberspace, it has brought me some measure of peace. But since then, I have striven for more. I've tried to be a voice for issues that often receive only a hushed whisper. I have tried to be this voice both on my blog and in my life.
To me, that's the key: to lend another voice. I may not be the loudest, or the fanciest. I may only be reaching a number of people I can count on my fingers and toes, but it's a voice nonetheless. And if all I ever do is offer some form of comfort or understanding to that one person who isn't just reading because they know me, then I have accomplished something.
Today, RESOLVE affirmed that every voice counts in bringing awareness to infertility and loss , no matter how small.