We too tried for 14 months, and we too shrugged off the people who cautioned us not to tell anyone too early. But we had waited so long, we couldn't help but shout it from the rooftops.
When we got the news that there was no heartbeat, there were so many emails, texts, and phone calls to be made. It was not easy.
But in the long run, I am glad that we did. I'd like to think we gave a voice to something that many other people may not be willing to share. I knew my mother and my best friend had suffered a loss, but by sharing our happy (and then sad) news with so many, I heard from several others. A neighbor, a friend's sister, my sister in law's friend - the list goes on and on. All women who had been through the same. Despite several of these people being complete strangers, they reached out to me with arms wide open, and shared their experiences with me. It was also encouraging to hear that all of them who continued to try went on to have healthy babies (including me - I was my mom's first successful pregnancy after a devastating 5 month loss).
Recently, a neighbor and friend had reached out to me because a friend of hers that I had met a few times had just suffered a loss. I felt an enormous amount of responsibility (and desire) to reach out to her and try to provide to her what so many others did for me. I remembered how painful those first few days and weeks were, and my heart went out to her. I told her I was sorry she now knows that pain, and I couldn't have meant it any harder.
As you may have seen, Mark and Priscilla Zuckerberg have recently announced they are expecting, along with an announcement of 3 lost before. Pink has also alluded to her struggles with infertility and loss, and she even wrote a song about it. If you have never heard it, give it a listen here:
I hope we continue towards a culture of being more open about this issue, as it impacts so many men and women. I also hope to lend another voice to it one day, much in the same way the Zuckerberg's have (albeit with a little less fame).